Gave up

Tried so hard to show her my love...

Waited so long to give her my love...

I'm ready to give her my love....


But she should have tried to appreciate my love by spending just some time with me since she say she love me...if she can spend such a long time per day with her frens, why not just a little time with me....

Was hoping she would be the one to comfort me...
In the end, met someone....
That someone was the one who comforts me....
That someone was the one who was there for me...


My love for her became lesser n lesser, and i began to like that special someone....
Soon, that likeness became love....

Even if theres no special someone, my love for her would also just slipped....


So if u were me, which do u prefer, her or that special someone?


Rite now, I'm with that special someone...
I'm quite happy with the results...
And i got a feeling that she's gonna make me smile each sec, each min, each hrs, each day, each month, each year, each decades...



240307: Love u....

With you/Without you

With you:


I feel happy.
I feel great.
I feel secure.
I feel lighten.
I would die for u.
I would run a million miles for u.
I would fight a million soldiers for u.
I would wake up in the middle of the night after a million day camp n run to where u are just to accompany u even if it's only a minute.





Without you:




I'm alone.
I'm down.
I'm sad.
I'd rather jump a million stories high than to live without you.
I'd rather sleep a million decades than to live without you.
I'd rather be eaten alive than to live without you.









Girl, see my love is true.
I've waited for u for such a long time, and i'll never leave you.
If i ever leave you, cursed my soul.....


I love you girl









sHaZnI

Let me be the one, telling u its alrite...

10 march to 13 march:
Had a camp.

Heres the thing.
I enjoyed the camp but does not enjoy something at all.
Smile all the way till nite.
They had someone to tok to, i mean to accompany them on the phone n keep their relationship strong, and i'm the only one without anyone to tok to.

I'm there whenever she need me, but why isnt she there whenever i need her.

U know wat, dun care ar.....



[Guys, sry if i'm not the type of person no more]


-sHaZnI-

Come to me....

Under the silver stars,
Right where he broke your heart.
Girl you know, I'd give you everything.
I wanna hold your hand,
And say the words he never said.
I'll make you promises you can believe.

Let me be the one,
Telling you it's alright
Sharing the smiles and tears you cry.
Let me be the one,
Loving you when you're weak.
For all of the strength you need,
You can come to me.

You can just be yourself,
'Cause I don't want nobody else.
All of your secrets are safe with me.
For the kind of love you can trust,
For more than just a crush,
Baby, won't you just come to me?

Let me be the one,
Telling you it's alright
Sharing the smiles and tears you cry.
Let me be the one,
Loving you when you're weak.
For all of the strength you need,
You can come to me.

Haix...getting worse

Haix....



Well, my life getting worse....


Surely, there's some pple who like me this way....well, let it be....


I'm all alone again....


I mean yea, i got friends but its like different.....


At times, i will be doing things myself n everything, and yupz...all by myself....


Sry, not at times, MOST of the time.....


Where is she?
Why suddenly like tis?
Getting lonelier n lonelier....

Maybe if i'm gone.......hrmmm.....

I've been there for her......
Why isnt she here for me.....

Where is she exactly????

Well, i guess its ok to have a life suffering like this.....

If i change to a different person, i'm sry, coz since i lost everything, might as well lose myself....


Anyway, girl,
Believe this....
I will always be there when u need me.....
I will always be here for u....
I will always cherish u.....
I will never leave u.......
I will prove to u that I'm sincere to u(*actually, isnt it enuf*)
I will prove to u that my love for u is true......


I love u girl






sHaZnI='(

Missing u...

Haih...


Still, its been so long...

Where is she?

I need her......

She can do this.....

Yes, she can....

But she just give up.....

But i'm not gonna give up yet....

Not without trying....

I really love her alot.... ='(


290106:
Girl, listen to me....
U havent even try....
Please dun give up....
I know we can be happy together....
All we need to do is not to give up....
Thats all.....
I just want ur love....
Coz i need you girl....
You're the love of my life....
Be with me girl.....
I love you.....





sHaZnI

Miss her....

Haih.....

For such a long time, she wasnt by my side.....
What happen?

I miss her dearly....

WEnt out just now, saw my frens smoking....
Tempted to smoke but, nah....

I really miss her dearly....

I need her by my side,
If only she's here with and for me,
I could tell her how i feel...
What she made me go through....

But....after what i've been through for her, it only brings me pain, tears, n blood.....


:'(


sHaZnI=(

Haihx.....

Haih...

At first, we were getting close....
You told me those words, i trusted those words of yours....
We were getting really close. We talked on the phone, we sms each other, we met n sit down n chatted.....
You called me 'syg'...
You told me you miss me...
But soon, all changed, suddenly....

What happen??
You begun putting me behind....
What happen?
You begun leaving me on the dark side......
What happen?
Whats got into you?
Why am i person you put aside?
Haven't i given you enough?

I tried my best to try to get close to you...
But your replies are all 'no'.....
What have i done wrong?

All i want is to be happy with you, but instead, i'm all down without you....
Oh my god.....
God, take my life away if my heart isn't with her....


Help me....

I'm holding on.....





sHaZnI ='(

Hrmmm.....

I think i'm going to bcome someone i dun like.....
Someone i hate to become.....
Someone all of u will hate.....
Someone all of you wont get close to.....




Relax shaz!!! Relax!!!
Ok, patience...breathe in breathe out....


Maybe should go do something that will distract my mind off it....

Hrmmm, but wat....

Ok, juggle some soccer balls....

Well, lets try that....

Maybe not....hrmmm, play game? no mood....hrmmm, do nothing i guess



Ain't the same no more.....






sHaZnI )=)

Holding on....

My world is closing in, I'm so alone
The door is lock and nobody's home
Desire is the key that i must own
Emotions got me losing control
I'm losing control

But I know
It's the way I must live
Even though
It's so unclear, so unfair
God I know
There's a path for everyone
I must believe and keep holding on

I'm wishing that i was somebody else
This world left me all by myself
Now why do they keep playin' with my mind
Tryin' to break me down tryin' to make me blind
But I see

God i know
It's the way that i must live
Even though
It's so unclear, so unfair
God i know
There's a path for everyone
I must believe n keep holding on

Never let my fears conquer me
Coz i know in my heart what i can be

Keep holding on....

Where are u... :'(

Where are you?

What are you doing now?

I'm so worried....
I'm so scared....

Will i be loved just like how much i love her?


Its been 17hrs n 8mins, still nothing from you....


Love you so so very damn much...
Still hoping we'll be together...
Don't want to lose you no more....

Just wanna be with you...
Just wanna be close to you...

Girl, be with me......


sHaZnI=(

I miss ya

It's been about 4 days she wasnt actively contact me.....

I'm worried...
I'm scared....
I'm down....

Wild thoughts ran through my mind...

"Will she leave me? Will we be together again? Will she be with me? What if she stop loving me? What if she don't need me? What am i to do without her? How am i gonna live without her? How will i be happy knowing if she never love me?"


I don't want to think about this!!
Stop thinking!!
Stop it shaz!!! Stop it!!


I trust her words. She say she do love me. I trust those words.

Girl, i know how u feel right now. But trust me, i promise, i will do much much more than my very best to keep us together. My love for you is true. I really do love you. I really do. I won't n i don't want to leave you. Never again. Coz I love you too damn very much...

I love you girl.....




_sHaZnI_