5th November 2007

Tomorrow will be my final day of 'O' lvl.
Its gonna a BOM!! O lvl ends!!! WOOOOHOOOOO!!!!


But still, i got no confidence in my results.
I studied but no luck, what i studied never came out.
But nvm, insyaallah can pass.

Anyway, here is wat happen for the past few months:

-Hang out with friends
-Hang out with her
-Hari Raya!
-Hari Raya concert!![i perform silat, hehe]
-O LVL!!!!!!
-Went shopping with a few friends[But i had to leave out my blazer, not enuf $$$$, ARGH!!!]




Wonder where i will go.
Hopefully, Poly.
NYP, TP, SP.
CCA will be of course, Silat.

Oh yeah, after o lvl. I'm gonna work and earn some cash to help out my parents. Of course, spend some for myself.





well, will be typing again.




Take care all



sHaZnI=)

9 August 07[What an incredible day!!]

Yeah, it's Singapore's 42nd birthday!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE!!!


Got up with laziness this morning. Check my handphone.
I was hoping i could get my 'friends' smses as, you know, its national day and we probably hang out, but, yeah, none from them.

But there's an invitation from 'her'. Heez :))

She ask me whether i would want to go see the fireworks later in the evening with her.
Of course i said I would love to. U think i'm gonna sit at home, bored to death??NO WAY!

Anyway, got ready, met her, and together we go. It was crowded back there. One thing i really hate is those men whose eyes were so pervertic. [U know wat i mean] Even if they 'look' at my female friends, i would really want to kick their ass. But better not start the cause. Better to just to give them an 'eyes-off!' warning stare. I did that and they really stop it. Good for them to stop doing so coz if i'm pissed, i think thats probably it for them. I mean, after all, all guys out there, who like it?? right? Guys, u'll probably do the same thing i did, or maybe, just straight away show them your fist. Hahaha...

Anyway, i really enjoyed seeing those fireworks. It was like AMAZINGLY WOW!!! Its been about 2 years i've seen a 'live' fireworks. And being there with her, it feels, sooo at ease and unlonely and, her presence makes me feel light. Dunno why....

Well, it was really great today. I really enjoyed myself. Thanks lotz to her! ;)

Well, thats my day. HAPPY 42nd Birthday Singapore!!!

Till then,
see ya'll next time.


sHaZnI=))

Independence x2 Begins!

I was independent

We were one pendent

We were like brothers

But it took control of y'all


We use to hang out, play some games together,
We use to study hard together, teaching each other what we can,
Come my place and chill, keep talking bringing smiles,
I no fear loneliness, coz i thought i got y'all,
But damn right, it was just a thought,
They left me alone all by myself.
Thought that y'all be there like i've had been for y'all,
But where y'all? Y'all had gone. Where?
To party
To chill
To hang out like we did before
Now, we all talk like nothing happen
But it's just ain't the same, y'all rejected everything from me
Y'all rejected my invitation to my party
Rejected my presence
Rejected everything that i had in me

What did i ever did to y'all?
Did i ever hurt y'all?
If yes, tell me, coz i'm sure that i never done it before

Since y'all left, i got no one else.
Theres only one person that will accept me.

I've been independent before, now, its twice of that.....



-peace-

My Birthday

Well, it was a great day

some minor problems but i'm happy =)




All my friends, thank u for ur wishes



But sad among some 'them', only one wish me, haih.....but its ok. I'm happy=)



Well, happy bdae to me



hehe






sHaZnI=))

Almost 5 years now

We've been there for each other

I've been there for all of you

Cant u remember the times that i'm willing to fight for all of you

Cant u remember the times we study and play and hang out together

Cant u remember?

Why all of a sudden?

If u hate someone else, why do u hate me?

U've known me for almost 5 years now, would i be that evil????

How can i tell all of u the truth if u had believe the untrue?

One of u are close to her, and i didnt even say anything even if it hurts to know that it happens after what i've been trough.

Whatever it is, i cant force

They have the right to follow their own path.

Whoever they believe, its their choice.

But one thing's for sure, they heard the untrue.
Some of the small things might be true, but the big things they hear are really untrue.

I know right now they treat no more a friend

But i still treat them as one. In my world, once u leave, footprints left behind became memories. I will forever know u all

And now that, they treat me no close fren, who will i go to?
Yeah, i would go to the one that is supporting me all the way right now
Its not my fault
They left me
She didnt

Kehidupan

Kehidupan….
Pada mulanya, aku sangat gembira
Tetapi
Sejak sesuatu berlaku
Kehidupan ku bertambah gelap
Bunga mawar berlayuan
Bunga ros menghitam

Semuanya ditiup sang bayu
Keseoranganlah aku
Walaupun ku tidak bersendirian di sekolah
Aku berasa aku ketinggalan
Sangat ketinggalan
Mengapakah mereka tiada disisi seperti dulu
Mengapakah kita semakin jauh walaupun aku yang berlari ke arah mereka
Mengapa
Mengapa ada benci, bila kasih tercipta
Mengapa ada salah sangka, bila faham tercipta

Walau bagaimana pon
Ku masih anggap semua seperti biasa
Dan kini
Aku harap
Peluang masih ada
Peluang untuk bumi duniaku menghijau
Peluang melihat perubahan kehidupan...

not bad

well, its over now

get over one challenge
but
failed the next one

haha

it was really hard to go through the 2nd one

i guess i need more experience huh
more training i guess

well, at least i improve
at least i give my best

i enjoyed myself
it was a really enjoyable and challenging experience

the result, it wasnt so bad

still, there's plenty of room for improvements

hahahax

well


I HAD FUN!!!!
YEAH!!!

One more week to go

Yeah

thats rite

its time for me to put wat i've learn in my training to the test

its big time for me

my father's behind me
my mum's behind me
my lil bro's behind me
my friend's behind me
and my closest person's behind me

cant fail these
cant fail them
cant bring dissappointment


well


HERE I COME!!
COME AND TRY ME!!!

Said and done

well, today damn damn very tired

missing someone madly...hahax

well, been going training these days and hang out
just tryin to keep myself bz so that i wont think bout 'things' but
still, it got me thinking bout 'things' every single seconds

but i'm tryin hard
never let my fears conquer me
yeah......

it was all said and done
although i cant believe what have been done
although i give my soul, to be held and to be had
it just aint the same
but
it's life


-------like drugs, you got me thinking of you. like drugs, you kill me.--------

I'm just afraid

You were always there when i need accompany.
You were always there when i need someone to hear me.
You were always there when i'm all alone.
You were the one who treat me like a somebody when i'm a nobody.

I know how much you love me.
I know how much you miss me.
What we've been through really makes me fall for u.
Ur sweetness,
ur cuteness,
ur touch,
ur voice,
ur laughter,
its all in my head.
Although i hope she'd return, although i still miss her, i realise that i've fallen for you.
I realise that I love you.

But i'm just not ready.
I still miss her.
I still love her.
Although i dun miss her as much as i miss you when i fall for you, i need these feelings for her to go away so that my love for you could be to the fullest.
Not only that, i'm too scared.
Scared of being left again,
scared of being all alone again,
scared of being treated like a nobody again.
I don't want to be a nobody.
Coz no one loves me when i'm a nobody, not even them.

I love her, but this love for her decreases little by little, coz I love you more.
I miss her, but this missings for her decreases, coz i miss you more.
I love you.
I miss you.
But...
I'm just afraid.......

If only she knew....

It was all said and done
I can't believe what you did
How can I be the one
Is it all just in my head

Trying hard not to breathe
Maybe then I'll let you leave
Nothing more I could do
All I am is there with you

It was easy to see
He would cherish your love, your touch, your kiss
And all that's in between

I gave you my soul
To have and to hold
So lost, confused

If only she knew
If only she knew......

Stop This Pain

Where are you?
And I'm so sorry
I cannot sleep, I cannot dream tonight
I need somebody and always
This sick strange darkness
Comes creeping on, so haunting every time
And as I stared
I counted
The webs from all the spiders
Catching things and eating their insides
Like indecision to call you
And hear your voice of treason
Will you come home and stop this pain tonight
Stop this pain tonight

The things i knew about you....

The
Things
I
Knew
About
You:


1)Your favourite number: 23



2)Your favourite fruit: Apple



3)You like Mickey Mouse



4)Your dream country: France



5)Your favourite drinks: soursop/apple



6)You love Michael Scolfield[Prison Break]



7)Your favourite music: Fast music that can be dance to. E.g. raggae



8)Your favourite color: PINK



.........................................................................................................................................................................

Truth is, I'm badly hurt

For the past few weeks, i've been trying to smile truthfully, but all the smiles werent permanent. I try not to think bout u, but you just came into my mind n nvr left. But u came into my life, and u left......

I wish u were here with me, happy like we use to be...
But sometimes, i just wish i could wash u away....
Its hard to let go...
After all, i'm human, i too got feelings....

Everywhere i go,
Everything i do,
Everyone i see,
Seems to be reminding me of u.....
Whenever i close my eyes,
Ur smile still in my mind....
Ur warm hugs still felt, warms my heart...
Ur kiss still being felt....
Ur smell still lurks....
I dun want to be a fool, crying over you,
I just wanna forget you but what can i do....
Wish you would come back to me, come back to me....
Don't you know my love is true
But this feeling, it hurts so bad, so much....
Why is it hard for me to forget you, while its easy for you to hate me....

Who u are, who are u, i dun care....
I wanna be with you, since u're my happiness
But u left n it hurts to say its too bad
My happiness is gone, but ur happiness stays within me
If its hard for u to make sacrifices for us and for ur good,
its even harder for me to want to be with someone who's by my side but her heart and mind is with 'him'.


I want to forget u.....oh plz do.....
I dun want hurt no more
I dun want get hurt whenever i hear u, see u....

Memories, plz fly away.....nvr return........nvr be my shadows....

Please.......................................

Life has been.....

Well, my life, its the same everyday

Tried to smile alot in school but when go home,
alone again....

Well, that life, its my path.....

anyway, i counted the nights when i dreamt bout her

Total: 3 weeks and 4 nights
Some different dreams, some same dreams
haih...whats this i'm feeling everyday?
Its painful



Sometimes i wander why cant i just be happy....
True happiness lies not on a smile, but on the heart....
But people say the smiles on ones face can make us happy
But sry people, it didnt work for me

All i've been doing is smile but feel down inside....



Why?......

Heal Me, I'm heartsick

Heal me, i'm heartsick
I'm hungry and i'm broken
I'm haunted, and weeping
Theblood of heaven flowing like a river tonite,
tears i can't fight on my own

I'm a haunted, heaving, i'm hung
and barely breathing
The drowning ocean, snuff the sun in motion.
Theres a pill on my tongue,
a shot from a gun ,
the bottles bottom
I'm lonely as a star

So heal me, i'm heart sick
Hungry, but i can survive on you
Heal my heartsick hungry cries
I'm heartsick

Father, free me.
mama , woman, feed me.
Child of fury, lost his way but don't worry.
I won't stop til the dawn,
Though i'm in too long on the run
i grow strongad restless as a dog

Heal me
I'm heart sick
I'm hungry and i'm broken
I'm haunted, and weeping
The blood of heaven flowing like a river tonite
Tears i can't fight on my own

Missing you always(Lyrics)

Still my number one
Eventhough you're gone
Love still burning strong
Feel I can't move on
Seems I lost my way
Things just aint the same
How I wish I stayed
Close to you

I know the rainy days aint over
When i think of you
I know I'm not out of the storm yet
Coz i'm feeling blue
When you see in my reflection
Looking back at you
I'm just trying to say....

I'm still missing you
Like the storm misses the rain
Like the warm summers day
I'll be missing you always
I'm still breathing you
Like you're here in my arms
Like you're not even gone
Will I feel like this always
Cause I'm still missing you

Thought I wanted out
Too yound to be tied down
Things seem clearer now
Should have stayed somehow
Hope it's not too late
Could I just try explain
Wish I could heal the pain
Caused to you

I'm still missing you
Like the storm misses the rain
Like a wasrm summers day
I'll be missing you always
I'm still breathing you
Like you're here in my arms
Like you're not even gone
Will I feel like this always
Cause I'm still missing you


I'm still missing you....

Dreams and tears

Its been 9 nights i've been dreaming about you.
Whats happening to me?
Whats the exact meaning of this dreams?

Whenever i dream, you are there, everywhere.
Whenever i woke up, i think bout it, and its just weird to be dreaming about you 9 nights straight without any pause.

Whats with me?
Or
Whats with those dreams?

Dream again yesterday, and yeah, same dream. I wash my feet but still i dreamt.
I woke up, and just sat there wandering why these dreams keep playing itself. But when i go to bed yesterday, i never put you in my mind. So whats with these dreams.
I took a bath, and as per normal, wear some nice shirt n short. Bu at the same time, i kept thinking bout those dreams. I ignored, but it kept running inside my head.

I checked my friendster n go to my friends profile using another tab. But i realise that i chked the wrong profile, i thought it was somebody else profile but i clicked on ur profile. When the song on my friendster played, i saw ur pics, i wanted to close the tab but my heart just stop me. I look through ur pics. You got some nice pics. But with the song playing n seeing ur pics, the next thing happen is.....well, i dun wanna tell.....

So whats exactly with me?
I'm confuse,
Is it bcoz of those dreams?
Or
Is it bcoz i confuse my feelings, with the truth......

Dreams...

It's already 4 nights i've been having dreams about you.

Yeah, its just dream, but it's weird when u keep having the same dreams...

Whats is this all about?

I really dunno what i'm feeling actually about those dreams.



Is it because its just a dream?
Is it a dream which has its meaning?
Is it because my feelings cause these dreams?
Or is it simply because.........i dont dare say this...but......is this because.....i miss you?


Dreams.....
Haha, it can be wonderful but its definitely wierd when you dream about something a number of times without a skip or miss.....
Well, one things for sure, these dreams makes me remember todays date n todays date remind me of that day when we met.....

One question keep running through my mind: What's with those dreams?


Hopefully, its only a dream.....

.......maybe not.......


sHaZnI

Holding On

My world is closing in I'm so alone,
The door is locked and nobody's home,
Desire is the key that i must own,
Emotions got me losing control,
I'm losing control.

But I know,
It's the way that i must live,
Eventhough, it's so unclear, so unfair,
God I know,
There's a path for everyone,
I must believe and keep holding on...

I'm wishing i was somebody else,
This world left me all by myself,
Now why do they keep playin with my mind,
Trying to break me down, tryin to make me blind,
But i see.

Coz I know,
It's the way that i must live,
Eventhough, it's so unclear, so unfair,
God I know,
There's a path for everyone,
I must believe and keep holding on...

God I know,
There's a path for everyone,
I must believe and keep holding on.

Never let my fears conquer me,
Coz i know in my heart what i can be....

I'm holding on....

240307-160407

Started:240307
Ended:160407

When i first met you, your eyes told me that ur heart said that u will be with me always.
When i first met you, your eyes told me that ur heart said that u loved me.
When i first met you, your eyes told me that ur heart said i am sure that u'll be loving me forever.

U told me u love so much.
U told me u wouldnt want to leave me.
U told me u'll be here for me.
U told me u miss me.

I accepted u for who u are, believng that u'll be happy with me..
Knowing that u'll be my happiness and joy...

U told me all of those things, and said its true, but it turns out to be lies....


Read again, we were happy at the beginning, but after ur sudden change, u stop sayin those words, those touching romantic words that u said its true....

I tried to make u happy, tried to cheer u up, tried to make u smile, although this heart is heavy, i never bring it out to make ur smiles go away.....
Even after the sudden change, i still go on loving u....

I cannot let this go on....
We will never be happy if u dun even wanna try...
Thats why i have to know why...
Thats why i kept asking u why...
I know its frustrating for someone with problems to think bout the answer..I'm sry
But i have problems too....
And remember, there's no one around me to help me....

Read again, we were happy at first, but soon, after u ignore me, all change....
So the words isnt true at all
So the true words are true lies after all....

Rite now, i'm so hurtz....
The pain, unbareably painful...

I hope u'll realise how much i love u, how much i care bout u.....
I'll even put my life on the line just to keep u safe, just to see u smile....

I dun know whtr u will return but trust this, i'll be waiting n be here for u, for better or worse or most worse or the very most worse, i'll be here for u...


My last words:
I love u fizah.....very much....







sHaZnI )'X

Happy

Yup, like the tittle say, happy..


Let me tell u about my story, before i became so happy...


2005: I met this someone 2 years back. She seems nice, sweet and cute. She treat me like a rose. But wat i didnt realise is, she's turning me into a black rose. U'll see why later, further in this story. Well, we fall for each other n we got together. Yeah, there was a problem for her before she met me, but that problem stopped. So i thought we sould be happy. But then, i had to leave her, coz lets just say i had to protect her. Thats 2 years back.

2006: We had contact. And well, yeah, i've told her wat happen. And she undestands n we were together again. But, our relationship only last for 3 months. At first, the sights that i saw, she sitting very close to her guy frens, shoulder to shoulder...they held her shoulder n she dun mind at all...it was a very heart breaking sights. But i kept quiet. Then, i couldnt take it anymore. I talked to her about this n she nod her head saying she understands. But then, a few days later, everybody, her frens, my frens, everyone..started saying i was overprotective. To me, it was like "what the hell??". I just accept it n patience in my mind. But then, she approached me n started to indirectly say things to me that she dun like it when i talk to my girls frens. What the hell? cant even talk to them. Fine, and yeah, i wasnt close with them. I tried to spend time with her, sacrificing my times when i suppose to spend with my frens. I wasnt close to my frens anymore. But she just ignored me n spend time with her frens. So i got fed up n i smsed her saying wat i dun like, n she got fed up n thats it. She left me.

2007: We contacted again. And this time, we really confessed to each other. The most stupid thing i ever done is trusting her "i love u". She began ignoring me. She says she needs space to think bout her future studies. yeah, well, i gave her that space but think about it. If she needs space, she ignores me n go spend time with her frens???? Come on! Soon, an angel appeared. She seems very nice, very cute, and very sweet. This angel was there for me whenever i'm down. She was there even if i never asked to be accompanied. I know that angel likes me coz i can see. Soon, i fall like that angel. But at the same time, i love the girl before. It was lucky for me coz that loving flame for the girl before is getting lower and lower. And guess wat, rite now, i'm happy with that angel. Very much happier. 240307 ;)



A simple advice: The one who needs you coz they love you is the right choice. Coz good or bad, they will be there for you....


sHaZnI=)

Gave up

Tried so hard to show her my love...

Waited so long to give her my love...

I'm ready to give her my love....


But she should have tried to appreciate my love by spending just some time with me since she say she love me...if she can spend such a long time per day with her frens, why not just a little time with me....

Was hoping she would be the one to comfort me...
In the end, met someone....
That someone was the one who comforts me....
That someone was the one who was there for me...


My love for her became lesser n lesser, and i began to like that special someone....
Soon, that likeness became love....

Even if theres no special someone, my love for her would also just slipped....


So if u were me, which do u prefer, her or that special someone?


Rite now, I'm with that special someone...
I'm quite happy with the results...
And i got a feeling that she's gonna make me smile each sec, each min, each hrs, each day, each month, each year, each decades...



240307: Love u....

With you/Without you

With you:


I feel happy.
I feel great.
I feel secure.
I feel lighten.
I would die for u.
I would run a million miles for u.
I would fight a million soldiers for u.
I would wake up in the middle of the night after a million day camp n run to where u are just to accompany u even if it's only a minute.





Without you:




I'm alone.
I'm down.
I'm sad.
I'd rather jump a million stories high than to live without you.
I'd rather sleep a million decades than to live without you.
I'd rather be eaten alive than to live without you.









Girl, see my love is true.
I've waited for u for such a long time, and i'll never leave you.
If i ever leave you, cursed my soul.....


I love you girl









sHaZnI

Let me be the one, telling u its alrite...

10 march to 13 march:
Had a camp.

Heres the thing.
I enjoyed the camp but does not enjoy something at all.
Smile all the way till nite.
They had someone to tok to, i mean to accompany them on the phone n keep their relationship strong, and i'm the only one without anyone to tok to.

I'm there whenever she need me, but why isnt she there whenever i need her.

U know wat, dun care ar.....



[Guys, sry if i'm not the type of person no more]


-sHaZnI-

Come to me....

Under the silver stars,
Right where he broke your heart.
Girl you know, I'd give you everything.
I wanna hold your hand,
And say the words he never said.
I'll make you promises you can believe.

Let me be the one,
Telling you it's alright
Sharing the smiles and tears you cry.
Let me be the one,
Loving you when you're weak.
For all of the strength you need,
You can come to me.

You can just be yourself,
'Cause I don't want nobody else.
All of your secrets are safe with me.
For the kind of love you can trust,
For more than just a crush,
Baby, won't you just come to me?

Let me be the one,
Telling you it's alright
Sharing the smiles and tears you cry.
Let me be the one,
Loving you when you're weak.
For all of the strength you need,
You can come to me.

Haix...getting worse

Haix....



Well, my life getting worse....


Surely, there's some pple who like me this way....well, let it be....


I'm all alone again....


I mean yea, i got friends but its like different.....


At times, i will be doing things myself n everything, and yupz...all by myself....


Sry, not at times, MOST of the time.....


Where is she?
Why suddenly like tis?
Getting lonelier n lonelier....

Maybe if i'm gone.......hrmmm.....

I've been there for her......
Why isnt she here for me.....

Where is she exactly????

Well, i guess its ok to have a life suffering like this.....

If i change to a different person, i'm sry, coz since i lost everything, might as well lose myself....


Anyway, girl,
Believe this....
I will always be there when u need me.....
I will always be here for u....
I will always cherish u.....
I will never leave u.......
I will prove to u that I'm sincere to u(*actually, isnt it enuf*)
I will prove to u that my love for u is true......


I love u girl






sHaZnI='(

Missing u...

Haih...


Still, its been so long...

Where is she?

I need her......

She can do this.....

Yes, she can....

But she just give up.....

But i'm not gonna give up yet....

Not without trying....

I really love her alot.... ='(


290106:
Girl, listen to me....
U havent even try....
Please dun give up....
I know we can be happy together....
All we need to do is not to give up....
Thats all.....
I just want ur love....
Coz i need you girl....
You're the love of my life....
Be with me girl.....
I love you.....





sHaZnI

Miss her....

Haih.....

For such a long time, she wasnt by my side.....
What happen?

I miss her dearly....

WEnt out just now, saw my frens smoking....
Tempted to smoke but, nah....

I really miss her dearly....

I need her by my side,
If only she's here with and for me,
I could tell her how i feel...
What she made me go through....

But....after what i've been through for her, it only brings me pain, tears, n blood.....


:'(


sHaZnI=(

Haihx.....

Haih...

At first, we were getting close....
You told me those words, i trusted those words of yours....
We were getting really close. We talked on the phone, we sms each other, we met n sit down n chatted.....
You called me 'syg'...
You told me you miss me...
But soon, all changed, suddenly....

What happen??
You begun putting me behind....
What happen?
You begun leaving me on the dark side......
What happen?
Whats got into you?
Why am i person you put aside?
Haven't i given you enough?

I tried my best to try to get close to you...
But your replies are all 'no'.....
What have i done wrong?

All i want is to be happy with you, but instead, i'm all down without you....
Oh my god.....
God, take my life away if my heart isn't with her....


Help me....

I'm holding on.....





sHaZnI ='(

Hrmmm.....

I think i'm going to bcome someone i dun like.....
Someone i hate to become.....
Someone all of u will hate.....
Someone all of you wont get close to.....




Relax shaz!!! Relax!!!
Ok, patience...breathe in breathe out....


Maybe should go do something that will distract my mind off it....

Hrmmm, but wat....

Ok, juggle some soccer balls....

Well, lets try that....

Maybe not....hrmmm, play game? no mood....hrmmm, do nothing i guess



Ain't the same no more.....






sHaZnI )=)

Holding on....

My world is closing in, I'm so alone
The door is lock and nobody's home
Desire is the key that i must own
Emotions got me losing control
I'm losing control

But I know
It's the way I must live
Even though
It's so unclear, so unfair
God I know
There's a path for everyone
I must believe and keep holding on

I'm wishing that i was somebody else
This world left me all by myself
Now why do they keep playin' with my mind
Tryin' to break me down tryin' to make me blind
But I see

God i know
It's the way that i must live
Even though
It's so unclear, so unfair
God i know
There's a path for everyone
I must believe n keep holding on

Never let my fears conquer me
Coz i know in my heart what i can be

Keep holding on....

Where are u... :'(

Where are you?

What are you doing now?

I'm so worried....
I'm so scared....

Will i be loved just like how much i love her?


Its been 17hrs n 8mins, still nothing from you....


Love you so so very damn much...
Still hoping we'll be together...
Don't want to lose you no more....

Just wanna be with you...
Just wanna be close to you...

Girl, be with me......


sHaZnI=(

I miss ya

It's been about 4 days she wasnt actively contact me.....

I'm worried...
I'm scared....
I'm down....

Wild thoughts ran through my mind...

"Will she leave me? Will we be together again? Will she be with me? What if she stop loving me? What if she don't need me? What am i to do without her? How am i gonna live without her? How will i be happy knowing if she never love me?"


I don't want to think about this!!
Stop thinking!!
Stop it shaz!!! Stop it!!


I trust her words. She say she do love me. I trust those words.

Girl, i know how u feel right now. But trust me, i promise, i will do much much more than my very best to keep us together. My love for you is true. I really do love you. I really do. I won't n i don't want to leave you. Never again. Coz I love you too damn very much...

I love you girl.....




_sHaZnI_